According to research, the fantasy of having a “Hotwife” is growing faster than most other lifestyle alternatives, including “swinging” and “open relationships”. What makes a fantasy centered on only one part of a relationship – the woman – going out and “getting some” from another man more appealing than going out and “getting some” for yourself?
The psychology of men tells us that they are highly competitive creatures. Males of the species have a drive to compete with other males for the best mate – this is not so different from what happens in the animal kingdom. The majority of men are naturally competitive when it comes to finding the “best mate” or the “most attractive woman”. The most common reaction after a wife finds out about her husband’s Hotwife fantasy is that she feels he is somehow “weaker” because he wants to give up her role as her only partner. Do you really believe this, though? The answer might lie somewhere between today’s man’s lack of natural competition in everyday life and a desire to maintain competition after marriage or monogamy? Could this be viewed as a weakness or could it be viewed as the ultimate form of confidence?
Cuckholding aside, because this aspect of the fantasy requires a bit more in terms of a “woman led” relationship, and a bit more from the man in terms of a desire for mental sadomasochism, a good majority of men enjoy the idea that they have been able to “capture” the best mate and even when she’s out having amazing physical and emotional experiences with men who may have qualities that actually supersede their own – a better body, a larger cock, youth, more prowess in bed – their woman actually WANTS to come back to them at the end of the night. While most Hotwife-Husbands do get some level of turn-on from jealousy and the possibility that their Hotwife may actually be enjoying their dates more than they enjoy being “at home”, the overwhelming desire is the competition and the “win” in terms of having a wife who chooses them again and again even after being allowed to go out and have other men.
As Hotwives, we may be the focus of the fantasy, but there is that deeper and more psychological desire of a man who, even after committing to one woman, is able to compete with other males sexually. This is why the desire for “reclaiming” a Hotwife after a date is so strong – it’s actually been scientifically proven that men who are able to reclaim a partner after she has been with someone else have an increase in testosterone levels, which means stronger desire, more powerful erections, longer lasting erections, and an overall stronger sex drive. So, what does this mean for us as Hotwives?
Jealousy is enjoyable for him, so go with it
Before finding our “person”, we’ve learned that inducing some jealousy can actually be a good thing when it comes to dating. Using our feminine prowess, we keep men guessing about our intentions…why? They seem more interested in us when we appear to be less than 100%. If this works for dating, why wouldn’t it also work for marriage? Compared to men, most women don’t respond as well, or in the same way, to jealousy – we tend to worry, question, and sometimes shut down if we feel that he may not be as interested as we are. Due to our own feelings regarding the matter, we tend not to make our men jealous once we’ve given them our commitment, since we don’t want to feel like we’re constantly competing with other, more attractive, sexier, younger women. How can we justify doing something we would hate to the man we love?
However, jealousy is a key component and tool for keeping our men hot and bothered, especially for those with Hotwife fantasies. Oftentimes, just the mention of being flirted with by a cute guy at the restaurant, or the thought of a sexy trainer at the gym is enough to send our men into a sexual frenzy. It doesn’t take much to feed the fantasy. The ultimate turn on for our men is not just dates and recounting how well we were worked over in the bedroom (and how much we enjoyed it), it’s also about the little things – the mention of our interest in someone else, the flirting messages we send to potential lovers or Bulls, the hint that we’re looking forward to doing the same for our last Bull. For men, this ignites their natural competitive instincts.
Your enjoyment increases his enjoyment
Some Hotwives think, “But I’m doing it for him, not for me” (a common refrain), but in truth, our men WANT us to have fun during our encounters. The “other guy” is interested in what we liked better about the “other guy” and what sent us over the edge. The concept seems absurd because we don’t want our men to think that their “others” are better, sexier, hotter or have something we don’t have, even if we let them be with others. It’s because we don’t have the same “competition drive” as men.
No matter what our men tell us – “It’s all about you, because I love you so much” or “I don’t get anything out of it unless you like it” – it’s not some ultimate “unselfish” thing they’re doing for us. While these words come out of their mouths, what they’re really saying is “I want to know that you came three times while he fucked you, but you still want to come home”. The kink is theirs, and we should understand it.
Hence, if you’ve taken the plunge into Hotwifing, you’ll need to learn how to tease your man into thinking your Bull is somehow superior to him. Every time you think “But I’m only doing it for him”, follow it up with “He wants to know that I enjoyed it a lot”. You should find an aspect of your encounter that was mind-blowing, and recount it in great detail. There may be a little embellishment necessary here, and that’s OK…trust me…embellishment is your friend. Tell your man how amazing your Bull’s cock feels, how delicious he tastes, how fantastic he is at oral sex, etc. Your man will have more vigor and desire to reclaim you when he knows these things will boost his competitive streak.
The More You Want Someone Else, The More Your Man Wants You
Similarly, if you act as if you WANT to be a Hotwife, that will make your husband or partner WANT you even more. His desire for you will skyrocket, he’ll even chew his own leg off to get you back in bed because his sexual desire for you will skyrocket. When I am completely honest about an “encounter” and tell “A” that my Bull was lacking in some way, or I didn’t quite “get there”, he isn’t nearly as turned on as when I tell him how amazing things were. While I do not believe in lying, I do advocate selectiveness and stretching the truth…for example, maybe your lover wasn’t the best at giving oral sex, but maybe he was an amazing kisser, so you could say “he was amazing with his mouth” and leave the other information up to you to interpret.
Because we’re women. We are strong, capable, and smart. This is a GAME we are playing for and with our husbands/partners, so we need to get our heads into it. In addition, this is an intellectual game, and we have to use our intellect to succeed. What is our goal? If we want a husband or partner who drools over us, believes we’re the ultimate sexual goddess, and is jealous enough to realize that to “compete,” they need to step up their game as well if they wish to “keep” us happy – whether it be with amazing sex, extra romance, rewards, or all of the above.