It’s OK to be Jealous in the Swinging Lifestyle, Just Don’t be a Jerk About It

“Oh, you’re in an open relationship? You must never get jealous!” exclaimed my friend. I laughed it off and shook my head in disbelief. Jealousy is a natural human emotion and can happen in any type of relationship, even in the swinging lifestyle. It’s how we deal with jealousy that counts. In this blog post, we’ll talk about how jealousy can be difficult to navigate in ethically non-monogamous relationships, the shared roles and responsibilities when dealing with jealousy, and how to deal with it like a pro. Strap in because it’s about to get real.

Jealousy is not a bad thing. It’s your body’s way of telling you that you have a strong attachment to someone or something. In the swinging lifestyle, it can be triggered by various things, such as watching your partner get intimate with someone else or feeling like you’re not getting enough attention from other swingers. It’s important to acknowledge your jealousy and not brush it aside. You’re not weak for feeling jealous, nor does it mean that your relationship is failing. It’s a natural emotion, so don’t beat yourself up over it.

When dealing with jealousy, you and your partner have shared roles and responsibilities. First and foremost, communication is key. Talk to your partner about your feelings and actively listen to theirs. This means no interrupting, no defensive attitudes, and no dismissive behavior. It’s important to acknowledge each other’s feelings and validate them.

Man and two beautiful women sitting on sofa. Polyamory concept

Another shared responsibility is setting boundaries. If specific things trigger your jealousy, communicate that with your partner and set boundaries. These boundaries can be renegotiated later, but having them in place is important. This could be anything from not kissing on the lips to having sex only in the same room. Whatever your boundaries are, make sure they’re clear and agreed upon.

On an individual level, it’s important to take responsibility for your own feelings. If you’re feeling jealous, don’t blame your partner or the other swingers. Take ownership of your emotions, and try to understand why you’re feeling that way. It could be a trust issue, a fear of abandonment, or feeling insecure about yourself. Once you understand why you’re feeling jealous, you can work on addressing the root cause.

Learning from jealousy is also key. Instead of letting jealousy consume you, use it as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and your relationship. Ask yourself what triggered the jealousy, what you’re afraid of, and what you need from your partner. This self-reflection can lead to growth and a deeper understanding of your emotions and desires.

Lastly, how do we deal with jealousy? There are a few strategies that can help, such as mindfulness, meditation, and self-care. Mindfulness involves being present and aware of your thoughts and emotions without judgment. Meditation can help calm your body and mind and provide clarity. And self-care can involve anything from taking a hot bath to investing in therapy. The key is to find what works for you and incorporate it into your routine.

Jealousy is a natural emotion that can happen in any relationship, including the swinging lifestyle. It’s important to acknowledge your jealousy, communicate with your partner, set boundaries, take responsibility for your own feelings, learn from it, and develop strategies to deal with it. Remember, it’s okay to be jealous, just don’t be a jerk about it. Happy swinging!