How to be a good lifestyle event host

Hosting lifestyle events is not easy. With so many new lifestyle groups popping up and so many attempting to host lifestyle events and doing it incorrectly, I felt compelled to write about the importance of being a proper lifestyle host.

Many people come up with the idea of hosting events for two reasons; they imagine how much money they will make and, of course, get to have a sexy time with others. I’m here to say that unless you do it well, neither of these will be accurate. They are a lot of work to plan, execute and clean up. However, if you must go down that road, here are four things to consider when putting your event together.


Themes are a must-have. It helps give the ladies ideas of what to wear, and it’s fun. Choose the theme carefully. Make it simple enough that most people can participate; since you are the host, it is sacrilegious not to participate in your theme. More importantly, you also want to be clear about what type of event it is. Is this a swinger event? Is this a Hot wife event that allows single men? Unfortunately, many traditional swinger couples prefer events with no single men. Personally, the more the merrier, but I know that is not always everyone’s preference. So do mace sure to clarify that. 


When choosing a location, it is always important to know the proximity to the neighbors. Will there be enough play areas? Do you need to reconfigure some rooms to be private, public playrooms, or dance areas? Define what areas of the location are public and private spaces. Defining these areas ensures people know what areas are off-limits, if any. These definitions will also help build your Rules for the event. Pools are always lovely, which lends itself to more naughty interactive games. 


Now that your theme and location are set. Think about how you might be able to tie in some games into the party. Interactive games help break the ice and encourages newbies to participate. If you are not comfortable doing this yourself, think about who might be able to help you. We had a couple that every time we had them at our parties, the wife would start the dancing in the center topless and encouraged the ladies to join her on the dance floor. Other games could be simpler, spin the bottle or how many positions you can get into in 69 seconds. The point is to have sexy fun.

The Host

Most Lifestyle events are attended by experienced lifestylers who have known each other for years or months. So when a couple or single man adds themselves to an event and subsequently comes to a party without screening, it makes it exceedingly awkward. The role of the host is super important. As a host, you must screen, introduce and interact with the guests. The last thing you want your guests to feel is a clicky vibe. Your event has to feel comfortable and inclusive.

Keep in mind. You may not get to play. I had a rule that I don’t play at my parties as the host. The only exceptions were when the doors had closed and most guests had gone for the evening. The reason for this was simple; my role was to host my guests. My role was to interact with the newbies to the group and, of course, newbies to the lifestyle. I wanted to ensure that they felt welcomed and introduced to others in the group. As the host, my role was to screen every attendee and learn about their preferences. This information helped me determine if they were a good fit for the group. I also ensured they met at least one or two people they had something in common to help create a positive experience with the group and encouraged them to return for a future event.

I have one last thing about event rules. It should go without saying, but I must add this. Make sure you constantly remind people to ask before touching anyone and that “No” always means “No!” and that they should come and find you and let you know at any time they feel uncomfortable.

Of course, there are many other things to consider, but in my experience hosting events, these are crucial elements that have made my events so sexy and successful. So have fun and be safe.