The upside-down pineapple is widely used as a symbol, like donkeys representing democrats and elephants representing republicans. The “alternative lifestyle” has many meanings and definitions. In fact, each person that participates in an alternative lifestyle defines it in a way that is uniquely them. For some, it is full of sexual fantasies, practices, set of boundaries, and experiences. Those you have had and those you would like to have. For others, it is a primary category they use to identify those people they don’t understand and find don’t match their “moral compass.” Yet. Behind closed doors, their search terms are “amateur cuckolding couples.”
The upside-down pineapple is used in the alternative lifestyle to symbolize to others that you are in the lifestyle and open to play. It doesn’t represent what level of play you are into and what your own dynamic of play might be. How can it? Like the term “alternative lifestyle,” the pineapple has so many varying interpretations. It does not describe if, as a couple, you’re only into voyeurism, or soft-swap, or more advanced version of swinging, cuckolding, or even a stag and vixen couple. I suppose that’s part of the fun part. Find out what you are into, and then figure out who else in the room is like-minded. But how?
Step 1 – Put Yourself Out There
Unless you are at a lifestyle event. How do you approach a couple and start a conversation that ultimately leads to some fun playtime? Seasoned pineapple life members understand and navigate these waters easily. Mostly because seasoned pineapple members have gone to and attended lifestyle events. Where do you find these lifestyle events and parties? They can easily be found in many swinger lifestyle sites like; SDC , SLS or Kasidie. Assuming you and your partner have discussed the lifestyle and decided that it’s something you want to do, it is best to make sure you know your boundaries before approaching anyone as a couple or even a single individual. This will help avoid any drama Experienced pineapple members can sense when there are many unanswered questions. This lifestyle is about having fun and enhancing the relationship. The last thing you want to have happen is get all hot and bothered only to have it end with one or all four crying.
Step 2 – The Approach
So now you are at an event, you see a gorgeous couple and you want to approach. What do you say? Do you immediately start talking about sex? Do you immediately start leering? What are you, 14?
The first step is to relax. You want to be friendly and approachable from the minute you and your partner walk in. You may not be feeling confident, but you don’t have to let that show. You have one another for support, so work as a team to present a positive image. Do not grab your drink and hide in a corner. Say hello to everyone you see. Be warm. Smile. There is nothing that sends more red flags to other pineapple members than a couple who seems aloof.
During your conversations, don’t focus on the end goal. Yes, you’re there for sex, but concentrating on sex and sex alone is going to cause you to be tongue-tied and flustered, even if you are confident!
If you see a couple you like, smile at them, catch their eye and introduce yourselves. The next thing you should do is pay the other couple a compliment. It doesn’t have to be too heavy, and you don’t have to be wanting to have sex with them straight away, or at all, but simply saying, “Hi we are X and X, we thought you guys looked lovely, can we chat?”
It would help if you got used to chatting to as many swingers as possible. Don’t focus on only finding a particular “type” of couple or single person and reserving your chat only for them. The more you chat and discuss swinging, the more you learn, and the more conversations you have in front of others, i.e., a couple you do want to play with, the more confident and friendly you will appear.
You don’t have to disclose your full names, what you do for a living, and where you live to everyone, and no one would expect you to. By keeping the conversation light, flirtatious, and briefly discussing what you enjoy, you should be able to gain an insight into what another couple is looking for. You don’t have to go into graphic detail about what desires you have, and if you are chatting with first-time swingers, doing so would be very off-putting.
There have been times I have found that initially, the woman prefers to talk to the other woman in the couple, and the man chooses to speak to the man. Especially if the couple is new to the swinging scene, if this is the case, then I’d recommend conversing with your own partner in private after speaking to the couple to see how suitable they are to swing with.
The art of being subtle and seductive is one that you will learn over time. Creating sexual chemistry by flirting, paying compliments, and asking others about themselves are all essential when approaching people for swinging.
Step 3 – Have Fun
Although there are no sure-fire ways to connect with and meet other couples, meeting at a club does have its advantages. Swingers can be extremely flakey, and even if you have approached them accordingly and spent time chatting to them online, there’s no guarantee they will turn up for a first date. However, if you go to a swinger’s club, you are guaranteed to be surrounded by fellow swingers. They may not all share the same kinks as you, and you will have to discuss your rules and boundaries face to face, but you don’t run the risk of being let down by flakey swingers.
Whatever “alternative lifestyle” means to you. It is important to remember that this life is yours and yours to live. Enjoy it!